Unzip My Heart By Charles E.J. Moulton

Ever since my college graduation, I’d worked in daily newspapers, mostly in England, in the daily news, covering scandals, arrests, press conferences, political debates and the like. I had a pretty impressive resume after six years.

Then, one day, after finally settling for a prominent London newspaper, I did a special about domestic gardening, “The English Suburban Landscape” they called it. They, yes, they. I wrote it. They named it.
It almost seemed as a set-up.
Nah, I’m kidding.

Anyway, my publisher, a big boobed, brunette thirty-something, five years my senior, named Penny Porter, a real power-vixen with a larger sized rural garden of her own, her knockers as big as her home-grown sunflowers, was so impressed with my article that she made me the chief editor of domestic issues. That meant that, from now on, I would be specializing on local cooking events, gardening tips, Tupperware parties, kindergarten festivals and family stories.

At first, it was fun. Every day was a journey to some out-of-town-occasion where some aging mother of three told me about her new self published vegan cook book or a review of a school play in Southampton.
The kids loved it.
I had a column of my own and loads of housewives wrote me on a daily basis. I even received a marriage proposal from a single Mom in Whitechapel, who called me “the most wholesome man in Britain”.
Oh, God, I thought.
And I was right.
That name stuck.
From then on, they called me “Mr. Wholesome”, just because I wrote about the letter in my column, and TV-informercials would regularly invite me, Mr. Wholesome, to sell some spectacular new frying pan and I would have to say how much I loved preparing my meals in it.
Bullshit.
One female BBC-TV-presenter, also a dishy married MILF I ended up fucking in the back room, said: “Britain’s favourite domestic journalist, our wholesome Mr. Bill Barnes, every housewife’s dream come true … is HERE!”

What a nightmare.
It was all a show. In reality, at that moment in time, anyway, I was a self-confessed bachelor who loved bringing some lusty chick home for a quick shag. Me, cooking? No, more like: me ordering take-out!
Oops.
I remember interviewing George Michael in the beginning of my career. He told me in nauseating detail how the incident in the loo in L.A. had turned his life upside down. It was his coming out as a gay man but it had been the total set-up.
That, I feared, would happen to me.
Not a gay coming out, I wasn’t, but a horny coming out.

I must confess that I now knew a great deal about cooking, gardening, domestic issues and the sort. In secret I enjoyed visiting all these housewives, pretending to like their cooking, but just actually peeking at their bums and boobs. My sexy brunette publisher made me the highest paid editor of our daily mag. I really had a great life. But bringing home some lusty babe from the corner for a quick blowjob? No way. No more cruising in bars, no more hot foursomes.
I was damn happy the yellow press had not found out about my frivolous past.
George Michael’s L.A. incident would have seemed like a visit at St. Paul’s Cathedral in comparison.

What does a horny British bloke do when he is not allowed to shag whoever he fancies? You got it. He starts jerking off. I had done it before, in my teens, plucking out my dick and squirting on photos of Busty Dusty and Nikki Knockers.
Once I got my own flat, though, no more prickbeating. I fucked and licked more pussy than Warren Beatty.
Nowadays? Forget it!
Celebrities watch their step.
Okay, maybe they don’t.
If you’re Mr. Wholesome, though, fucking around might be a bad choice.
Anyway, that was the reason I went back to the five finger quickstep.
I worked most of the time, no time even for a girlfriend, so whenever I came home to my flat in Kensington, I would lay out every single smut mag I owned, literally covering the whole floor with big boobed paper chicks, print out a photo of some babe and squirt my sperm on her pic.

That went well for a while.
I had little orgies my own, even taking out my blow-up-doll, Saucy Samantha, turning every night into a row of orgasms and washing my rubber girlfriend in the tub every night.

No one knew about my double-life.
Yet.

The day it all changed was a sunny Friday. I knew I had that weekend off, that had been due to my editor in chief Penny Porter, who had needed me for three consecutive weeks.
“Take three days off,” she sang. “You’ve earned it, love.”
Well, that Friday, I had bought pop corn and chips and a six pack of Guinness, planning to watch all of the Harry Potter flicks in one night.
Four articles had been finished that day, they were all going to be published that following week and Miss Porter had told me “how utterly pleased she was with my astonishing work”. She even asked me if I wanted to join her for a glass of Dom Perignon in her back garden.

Now, you might ask why I did not accept the invitation. Well, first of all, I assumed she was married. I had seen her with a bloke a few years back. Extra-marital affairs, getting caught in the closet, running out naked with a gun firing on me arse? No, thanks. Besides, I had gotten so used to my orgy nights, Saucy Samantha doing all I demanded, that everything else faded in comparison.
Sad, huh? Maybe.

I came back home that early evening, late afternoon, around ten to six, threw all of my snacks in the kitchen, planning to order a pizza, throwing the six-pack in the fridge, planning to wank for a 30 minute round, a hard fast-finger tree-trunk-rub samba-jump, before joining Harry and his friends.
Saucy Samantha was on the bed, BangBros was filling some sexy blonde’s mouth with cum on my PC and thirty issues of Big Ones lay on the floor. The worst thing was: I had printed out a photo of my boss so that I could eventually squirt on her A4-paper face.

I had been walking about the flat wanking like a silly man, looking at Kirsten Imrie rubbing her clit on the beach of Tenerife, Chloe Vevrier fondling her boobies on silk sheets, Julie Hart showing me her bum in her Oxfordshire house doorway and Sophie Fernandez opening herself up to show me the sweet oyster pink inside of her “Fromage de Meaux”. All the while I wandered back to Saucy Samantha to get a round of tongue twisting, only to walk towards Penny Porter’s pic to tell her how much I craved her.

A man can be so darned immersed inside his testosterone levels that he does not realise that the front door to the apartment house is open and that his own door to his penthouse flat at the recluse end of the hallway … was ajar.

So here I stood, stark naked, Mr. Happy pointing toward Penny Porter’s slight cleavage, a pic from the magazine’s website, me whispering as I looked at her photo on the paper:
“I wanna fuck aaahhhlll of your holes, Penny!”
Who was in the doorway, out of the blue, or in the blue, as the case might have been, holding a bottle of champagne in her left hand and two glasses in other, dressed in a superb looking blue outfit, tight asshugging skirt, sexy jacket and white boobembracing blouse, made up and reeking of Yves Saint-Laurent?
Penny Fucking Pussydream Porter.
I don’t think I have ever been so embarrassed. Not when my kindergarten pals caught me naked in my playroom, not when I had been foulmouthing my teacher in high school and he stood right behind me, not even when my college enemy saw me dropping my breakfast on the canteen floor and subsequently slipping on the banana … to his laughing glory.
Erect penis, naked me and fully clothed her, Mr. Wholesome caught in Sodom and Gomorrah.
My heart raced, I shrieked like a little girl, dropped her picture on the white carpet.
Penny Porter looked at her own printed photo, gazed at it with an open mouth, what I thought was no open mind, gazed at all my smut mags, walked in, looked at Saucy Samantha lying on the bed.
She stood there, well, how do I put it? In shock. I saw my career ending, me sliding down an endless tunnel toward hell, my life as Britain’s journalistic answer to Donny Osmond turning into a pile of dog excrements.
I grabbed my trousers, nervously, with shaking hands, covering my trembling crotch, a dick shrinking like an ice cream in the sun, me, unable to utter a word.
“Holy fuck,” Penny Porter moaned, ever so softly, turning her back on me, leaving and running away faster than she had come, champagne and glasses with her.
“Bugger,” I spat. “Shit, buggar, fuck, darned, heck, bleeding hell.”
I think my smut mags disappeared into the backroom faster than back when the postman arrived unannounced. Saucy Samantha? I stuffed her into a corner, shoved Penny Porter’s pic into a drawer, put on my clothes and sat down on my balcony chair for an infuriating moment, rocking back and forth, expecting to find my face on the first page of The Sun the next morning. Heck. Might even drop dead.
I could see the headlines.
Not “Zip Me Up Before You Go-Go”, as in poor George Michael’s case, but “Mr. Wholesome’s Hole of Sin” or something rather.
I then ran the entire length of my flat up and down forty times, contemplating moving to Ecuador and starting work as a Coffee farmer, where no one knew me or ever would.
The forty-first time I did that, Penny Porter was back, leaning against the doorframe, still holding the champagne and glasses.
She’d changed her mind.
She grinned insecurely, chuckled a few times, cleared her throat and looked at me.
“Sorry … uhm … that I intruded … on your private …”
There was a long pause.
Okay, was she going to say “orgy” or “perversion” or “disgusting habits”?
“… fun.”
I shook my head. “I am totally embarrassed, Miss Porter,” I whispered.
She put up her hands in protest, closing her eyes. “Please, I just heard you tell my photo you wanted to insert your hard gender into every opening in my body, so …”
Oh, Lawdy. A possibility I wasn’t going to slip into hell arose.
“… call me Penny.”
My cold sweat transformed into warm pre-cum.
“Co-… come in.”
I laughed a nervous shutter, waving.
“I mean, if you are not disgusted.”
Penny smiled, her eyes swiftly surfing over my crotch-area.
She grew red in the face, shaking her head.
“Oh, gosh,” she giggled.
I looked at her, her tits bouncing with her laughter.
“How … awkward.”
She put down the glasses on the dining room table, gently handing me the Dom Perignon.
I took it, smiling, not feeling like I was sliding down a tube, but feeling like this was taking me to Cloud Nine.
Okay, I’ll admit it.
My cock was growing again.
I think Penny noticed.
I tried to uncork the champagne as elegantly as possible. When I did, it foamed, dripping cumlike drops onto the floor. I poured the liquid into the glasses, handed one to Penny. She did not look me in the eye. She just looked at the massive erection I sported underneath my Boss shorts.
Her gaze grew bigger and bigger until she simply let out a high squeak.
“Whoa,” she whimpered. “It’s huge!”
That was the moment this awkward tension turned randy.
“May I?”
She looked at me with pleading eyes.
I nodded. “Be my guest!”
Glasses gone, blowjob on.
I cannot tell you how amazing it felt to have this sexy power vixen going down on her knees like an obedient prostitute, opening my zipper with her red long nails, dropping my shorts to the ground, reaching into my Calvin Kleins and seeing her amazed grin as my nine inch rod bobbed joyfully into her face.
“Will it fit?”
I chuckled and shrugged as she massaged my balls ever so tenderly, still fully clothed, looking like a Queen, acting like a submissive whore.
“Oh, my Lord,” I sighed as Penny Porter slowly opened her mouth and stuck my large dong into her mouth.
She elegantly embraced my penis with her lips, her head bobbing back and forth, her earrings rattling, her hair flying, spit running down her cheek, her hands grabbing my ass, her voice making little happy whimpering noises.
“I do believe you are endeavouring to take all of my nine inches of penis into your mouth, you dirty little slut,” I said and waved my eyebrows at her.
I couldn’t believe I had said that but it awoken something in her.
Something really randy.
As she sucked on me humungous schlong-dong, she made little breaks in her lecture, occasionally talking while sucking, turning into a real randy little whore. This chick, who I had only known as totally in control, a boss, a dragon, she became a dickhungry little tart.
“Man,” she spat on my prick and masturbated it, “you’re all man. Such a big, big, … moooahh .. yum yum yum … big fine dick … so salty … I’ve sucked a lot of dick in my day, but … mmmh … mmmh … yeah … this penis is the best. Gosh, this cock tastes good. When I saw you standing there naked, looking so fine, your … mmh … your dick erect and you telling my photo you wanted to fuck all of my holes … mmh, yeah … tastes fine … I felt my pussy getting all wet … mmmh … hard cockie … chickie-sluttie love hard penis … I feared my own horniness … God, I love your big dick … I sat in my car, you know, and I said to myself: you’re divorced, living on your own in that big house, your ex getting blowjobs from that young bitch in Spain, go and give that nice man a blowjob … and so I did … mmmh … love … yum yum yum … sucking dick.”
She really went at it now, her mouth so fast, her tongue so exciting, her throat endless, Iiterally saw stars.
Then, all of a sudden, she sprang up, almost in a rage, throwing off her clothes, literally scattering them all across the floor, her jacket, her skirt, her blouse, her garters, her stockings, her undies, her bra.
At once, this sex object was stark naked, ripping off my clothes, as well, amazing me with the sight of her on my bed on all fours, bare bum stretched towards me. She smelled of coconut shower gel and sexy perfume, her C-cup titties and buttcheeks bouncing in my face as she begged me: “I want your dick in my asshole, Bill. Do to me what no one has done before. Please fuck me in my butt with your long hard cock!”
Well, a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. I walked up to her, happily grabbing her buttcheeks, my dick pointing at what obviously was a newly showered body. Had she anticipated fucking me?
Mmh, all woman.
Nice fuck.
As things go, I reached into my nighttime drawer and fished out some of the strawberry cream I had used on Samantha.
“Oh, Bill,” Penny moaned submissively, “you’re not gonna hurt me, are you?”
I gave my publisher a knowing grin, understanding her game of hide and seek. This hard business woman, always calling the shots, always feared by everyone, she finally could lean back and be controlled, and her willing employer now telling her what to do.
“Just shut up and let me cream your butt in before I shag your ass, baby!”
I rubbed in my cock and balls with this sex lotion before I took a bigger dose of it on my hand, rubbing in her showered rosebud arsehole with love cream.
Impatient, I threw the tube on the floor, letting my cock taste her butt, my penis looking like the EuroStar entering the famed tunnel.
It was a slow and very intense work of thrusting, but, bit by bit, I saw my Long Dong Silver vanish into her tightest hole. I will never forget the expression on her face. Agony and pleasure, fear and joy and the ecstasy as we found a nice thumping rhythm of mutual respect. Okay, a really good fuck. What also was fabulous was how beautifully her buttcheeks wobbled as I thrust my dick into her arse. Every thrust had her bum shaking thrice. Her buttwobble was poetry in motion.
“You have a beautiful ass, Penny,” I said, shagging her butthole.
“You are the hottest fuck I’ve had in years, Bill,” Penny moaned.
Quite extraordinary, I told myself, she managed to be so submissive and yet when she wanted to, she pulled it away and called the shots.
She pulled herself out of my cockie, not vice versa, laying down in spread eagle and commanding me to lick her pussy. And, oh, how I licked. What I liked most, I will admit, is that her pussy wasn’t shaved. Nice hair to lick through on the way to the pink and salty cunt. At the end of my five minute clit meal, my face was dripping with oestrogen.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I simply pulled out my tongue and jumped in between her legs and fucked her like a maniac, her jugs bouncing, her eyes closed shut, oh-oh-oh’s exchanged by ah-ah-ah’s and eeh-eeh-eeh’s, gentle fuck me’s and deeper’s and let me be your whore, you sexcraved moron. Soon, I saw stars and as she came I really felt her pussy tingle, her nails digging into my back, her hairy and delicious furburger hugging my hard penis so tight, so tight, so tight, I felt like becoming an opera tenor.
Now it was time for me to come. And, oh, how I did.
I pulled out of her cunt, straddling up to her face, slapping my balls on her chinnie-chin-chin. The sexy bitch opened her mouth like the pricklusty slut she was, sticking out her tongue and demanding sperm and getting loads of it.
It landed everywhere: on her face, eyes, tongue, cheeks, forehead, nose and lips. I ended up inserting my giant Willie a few times into her hungry mouth before laying down next to her, cuddling up on her arm, waiting for her to get ready mopping up my sperm with her finger and licking it off with her mouth.
When she was ready and uncummed, she sighed:
“So much for Mr. Wholesome.”
I looked at her in my own knowing way and added:
“The only thing that’s true about that name is that I do satisfy some good holes. Hole-Some? Some holes!”
She nodded, smiling: “You fill ’em up fine.”
We ended up laughing and getting ready for another round.

I can only describe that weekend as the best of my life. There were very little questions asked and yet we revealed most of what was near and dear to us. I gave her my spare toothbrush and an extra T-shirt of mine, which she filled up well, I might add. We finished off the champagne and the six-pack, we ordered pizzas and watched all of the Harry Potter flicks. And we fucked so much at one time Penny complained that her pussy ached. During the fourth Potter flick, Penny pushed pause to ask me if I had the ingredients for Caipirinha in the kitchen. I answered that, indeed, I did. She came back, five minutes later, with two lucious cocktails. What really blew me away was when she told me that in order to make it a real cocktail, I would have to masturbate my cum into her glass. At first, I thought she was kidding. Lo and behold, she wasn’t. I began to adore this chick.
Imagine my surprise when she sat back, treating my wank as a dinner show, watching my cock grow from small to huge, her eyes growing and glowing as my cock grew bigger and bigger – “Woah, does it ever stop growing? Yay! Go, Billy, go!” – penislover Penny cheering like a go-go-girl as the orgasm slowly came to its close. I did squirt my sperm into her Caipirinha, she clapped her hands like a happy school girl, she stirred the glass and drank it up. “Now that’s a real cocktail!”
This was incredible.
Talk about Mr. Hole-Some.

Monday morning came too soon. Much too soon.
I do know that Penny Porter woke me up, fully clothed and sexy at 8 o’clock, having showered and used some of my eau de parfume and shampoo. She woke me up in the sexiest way possible. I felt her mouth embrace my cock. And yes, I squirted into her mouth. And yes, she swallowed it all. And no, her lipstick was not a mess afterwards.
“Good morning, sunshine,” she swooned. “Thanks for your protein breakfast. There’s nothing like sperm to fill the stomach.”
I sighed. “You are a fabulous woman, Penny Porter!”
She caressed my cheek with the back of her hand.
“I’m going to work, babe, but I will see you tomorrow, okay?”
I nodded, smiling.
“You have a nice day off,” she said, “we have to chat tomorrow.”
I raised my eyebrows. “About what?”
She gave my nose a peck.
“Us.”
And that was that.
I lay there for the next two hours, realising I was in love.

I felt like I was flying on cloud nine, not getting up, eating my scones in bed, watching the last Potter flick, wanking again. It was blissful. At least until the phone rang at two o’clock that afternoon. Someone from the marketing department called me and announced that five major magazines had an appointment in Miss Porter’s office at ten tomorrow morning. I should be there at 9:45. I was free until then. This was important, it was added.

You can imagine what I was thinking.
Was Penny really such a hardliner? A cocksucking usurper? Was she going to sell me out?
No, that couldn’t be.
I went back and forth in my head about what was going on.
I reviewed the weekend in my head. I had taken nude pics of her. Otherwise, no surveillance or photos on her part.
What was I thinking?
Of course there was no foul play.
She said she wanted to talk about us, right?
That was good, wasn’t it?
I almost sent her a message, but managed to control myself.
She was busy.
But why the press conference?
Five major London magazines coming to Penny Porter’s office?
Our rivals?
To hear what?
About Mr. Wholesome caught wanking his cock?
No. At 7:11, Penny sent me a WhatsApp, thanking me for a wonderful weekend. Had I received the message? Yes, I had. It’s a nice surprise, she added. Was that a joke?
I chose to send her a heart. She returned one, saying she was attending a conference and would be home at midnight.
She longed to suck my dick again.
I fell asleep, dreaming weird dreams.

I got ready for my appointment that next morning with an eerie feeling of living in a Kafkaesque book of sorts.
“Josef K. fucked the girl of his dreams yesterday and is now walking the streets …”
Yeah, to do what?
Wank?
Beg?
Borrow?
Get unemployment money?
My breakfast tasted like paper, the sun was too hot and traffic was just too darned loud.
My colleagues greeted me, like they knew something I didn’t.
In any case, I went through any possibility in my head.
Split for Ecuador?
Seek emergency care?
Get a lawyer?
Become a porn star?
Hey, it worked for Mr. Bobbitt and he lost his dick at first.
“Mr. Wholesome Caught Wanking!” – that might even sound great in the porn industry.
Every step seemed like a visit in hell.
And I loved this babe!
Heck, she was the hottest fuck in the universe.
Was she going to eat me alive?

Three secretaries greeted me, asking me to wait outside the office with the plaque, Penny Porter, Editor in Chief, hammered on its honourable dark wood.
When I came in, Penny Porter was on the phone, speaking to God knows who. It sounded like someone from the House of Lords. She waved me into her huge office with her large dark desk, the Persian carpet, the leather chair she sat on studded with brass knuckles. I felt like walking the green mile. I closed the door behind me, walking up to her desk. Sitting down on the chair opposite of her’s.
Without further adieu, Penny handed me a document, three or four pages long. Me expecting a sapena or threat or some kind of weird compromise to never wank again, it had me shaking like a leaf in November.
Penny kept talking, shrugging and eyeing heavenward, pointing at the phone.
That was when I saw what the document read.
I saw my name, I saw the sum of money on the paper and I saw the length of the contract. My chin nearly dropped to the floor.
When the sexiest publisher on the planet hung up on her wooer, she smiled.
“You like it?”
I stuttered. “Is my cock that good?”
“I’ve had you in mind for some time, you hot rod!”
Penny Porter came up to me that day, setting her cute ass down on my lap, causing us to morph into the deepest and most lucious tongue-kiss the soul had ever seen.

The news spread like wildfire around the capital.
To be honest, I felt like royalty.
If the London Gazette was turning into the best daily mag in the city, Penny’s move to turn Mr. Wholesome, or Hole-Some, Master of Holes, and herself into a shared leadership-deal signed, sealed and delivered that success.
Of course there were critical voices, especially from our rivals, but as far as I was concerned I had the best girlfriend in the galaxy and I shared a gorgeous office with her, an office we could lock any time we wanted to shag ourselves silly. This divorced nympho was the finest cocksucker around and I was going to share my life with her.

Nowadays, I live in her big house in the outskirts of London. We’re married and have two children. We get to the office at ten, so she has time to give me a blowjob lesson after the kids go to school. Sometimes, I make a business call while she sucks me off just to save time. She doesn’t eat breakfast. Cum is enough for her, so she says.
I am still Mr. Wholesome to the public. If they only knew.
At times, Penny commands me around in the kitchen, but that is another story. I get to fuck her asshole while she stands by the stove making food. She makes me say that she is my sex object.

Our leadership-deal is approaching its tenth anniversary, so we are planning to send the kids to grandma. Penny tells me she found a really sex-crazed couple that want to celebrate with us by swinging and swapping pussies and cocks.
What can I say?
Foursome is back.
A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do, especially if he has a nine inch dick.

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Lucy’s Paradigm Shift By Charles E.J. Moulton

Harry was uptight.

In fact, his uptightness had been legendary for quite a while.
It wasn’t that Harry was unfriendly. No, not at all. He smiled when you met him, he listened attentively to you when you spoke and occasionally, at parties, he would hold a very precise conversation entailing a wide variety of subjects.

Harry was no loser.

As a consummate professional, he meticulously prepared academic research papers, like he had back in college. Here a piece about the Napoleonic Wars, there a thesis about Roman Cuisine. He would often read these pieces to his university students during lectures, before returning home to his cigar, his Armenian Ararat Brandy and his CD-collections of Edward Elgar and Gustav Holst.

Harry was good looking, a very suave blond hairdo, impressive stature and large blue eyes, so it came as a surprise to many female students that such a man in his early 30s could be so shy of girls.

His parents had taught him to be impeccable.

The parents themselves?

No possibility in seeing Harald Carruthers Senior cuddling his Deirdre. Kissing? Impossible. They were friendly folk, loyal Bromley citizens from Billy Idol’s Small Town, England. They took Sunday strolls in the park, closed their own and their son’s eyes when a lightly clothed woman was shown on TV.

What goes around, comes around.

Harry Carruthers, Junior, developed a shame for his urges, although his secret drawer with the lock in his room had been filled to the brim with copies of Large Jugs Mag, Foot Fun, Sazzy Legs, Brash Blowjobs, Sexy Asses and Big Ones. And every time he squirted on Kimberley Clark’s Kleenex, he begged the heavens to forgive him.
This was his life until his a few days before his 31st birthday, a life spent remembering the one girlfriend from high school, the one with the large boobs, who left him because, you guessed it, he was just… too uptight.

It was a regular Monday afternoon, Harry returning from campus after an especially strenuous day. Big crowds of students, no or little reaction to his efforts, and that one girl sitting in the first row, eyeing him during three of his lectures. Lucy Holmes.

Harry knew he had given her his cellular phone number a few months before. She had needed the university password for the online research archive and he had let her use the spare computer in the back of the library.

She had eyed him back then, her big braless basooms stretching her V-shirt, nipples perkily pushing the cotton to say a becumming “Hello!”

It had been incredibly hard to hide his hard-on back in the back of the library, as hard as it had been to hide his hard-on today. Harry had not been able to help himself, so he spent most of his lectures behind his desk today sporting a massively throbbing erection, trying not to study Lucy’s fantastic D-cup wossnames too openly.

It was tough, real tough, having such uncontrollable urges.

Harry closed the door to his two room flat behind him that day, closing his eyes, breathing heavily. This had to be wrong, Harry told himself. Feeling this way, he meant. Being ashamed of loving titties, lots of titties, big titties, small titties, medium sized titties. If he only could overcome his fear and shyness when a pretty woman flirted with him. He spoke freely for hours on end about history during his lectures. Why on Earth was speaking a problem when it came to girls? He, a university professor. Shy. Getting a stiff prick two seconds after seeing a sexy female smile, squirting after a handshake. Impossible.

Harry threw his bag on the couch, shoved a Gershwin CD into the stereo, a frozen pizza into the oven and poured himself more than a half glass worth of Armenian Ararat Brandy. There he stood, on his miniature balcony, gazing at lawns and lawnmowers, cars and parking lots, houses and doors, exists and entrances. He had no idea what the thought was that was forming in his head or even why, only that the time was ripe for change. What change? How? The fuming vanilla cigarillo acting the Yin to the brandy’s Yang, Harry only understood then and there how lonely he felt.

Sex, a sin? No, loneliness, a bigger sin.

Half-way into his American Pan Style Chili Cheese Pizza, the familiar urge soared again. Harry ripped his desk drawer open, flung open his jeans, took out his throbbing erection, wanked, spread eagled the Score Mag Centrefold Babe, licking her sweet paper pussy, leaving a few strains of Chili Cheese on her pink clit. He imagined shoving his entire face into that wonderful cunt, coming out completely wet, his entire face dripping of oestrogen and clit wine. He felt his hand beat his willie so fast it sounded like a stampede, faster and faster, strains of pizza mixing with make-believe cunny soda.

At that moment, Harry’s phone rang.

“Lucy Holmes,” the display read, the photo he had taken of her in front of the university entrance, masturbatory boobs flashing on the display, de Falla’s Fire Dance reverberating as a ringing tone.

“Lucy,” Harry whispered to himself, thoughtfully, carefully wanking his penis, thoughts criss-crossing his mind as to why she called him now after work … in private.
Harry’s trembling hand swooshed across the display, causing the red receiver to turn green. Harry carefully raised the phone to his ear.

His dream fuck.

Harry was terrified.

“He-… Hello?”

A moment’s silence before any reaction came, fears of a student prank, a joke on his expense, causing his cheeks to turn red again. Then a very sweet and tender voice spoke in shy waves of tenderness.

“Mr. Carruthers? Lucy here. Lucy… Holmes.”

He looked at the nude model on the centrefold, as he listened to Lucy’s voice, masturbating his cock as he heard her sexy voice croon.

“Miss Holmes,” Harry crooned, “a … a pleasant surprise.”

She laughed. “I do hope I am not interrupting you.”

Harry stammered, looking at his half eaten pizza standing half way onto the porn babe’s jugs. “No, no. How can I be of service to you?”

“It’s sort of an emergency, Mr. Carruthers,” she began. There was another pause. “You have a minute?”

Harry, intrigued and terrified at the same time, croaked a quiet: “I have time,” which in retrospect seemed more horny than academic, but he was the teacher, right?

“Great,” Lucy chirped, which made Harry quietly wonder what the emergency was.

“I submitted an academic research paper to my uncle’s literary journal in Dublin,” Lucy continued, “and now he phoned me, telling me that they have a blank spot in the next issue. An author withdrew his submission. It’s an issue about Scandinavia. He told me he would publish it only if I add more information about the people’s uprising of 1542 against King Gustav Vasa under Nils Dacke.”

Lucy exploded out into an insecure laugh.

“I thought he was kidding,” she sing-songed in a Yorkshire lilt, “but he wasn’t. Apparantly, there are several pieces about Scandinavian uprisings in the issue and he wants it in there before 6 tomorrow evening.”

He didn’t know what it was, but hearing her voice just made him even more horny, but then there was the weird feeling of guilt in the back of his head.

“You’re the expert,” she swooned, coquette, “I’d pay you. I wouldn’t stay long.”

Harry imagined humungous racked Lucy here, discovering his hard-on.

“You live not far from here, right?”

“Yes,” she chuckled in a frilly bounce, “we strolled past your apartment building… the day you took those photos of me, remember?”

If she only knew how many times he had looked at those photos.

“How does seven o’clock sound?” Harry crooned, his cock still facing the ceiling, massaged by his firm left hand.

“Fantastic,” Lucy chirped. “Thanks ever so much, Mr. Carruthers. It would be my first published piece. I would be thankful for any help I could find.”

“See you soon.”

“Bye,” she whispered.

This all confused Harry. Had this something to do with her appearing in three lectures of his today and smiling.

Well, Harry’s dick went into his pants again, the pizza wandered in segments into his mouth and the Centrefold’s Yummy Chili Cheese Tasting Pussy into his drawer.

As he with shaking and nervous hands lit some candles and injected an Enya CD into the stereo, he remembered photoshopping Lucy’s pics, zooming in on her jugs and using the photo as a screensaver. He had even printed out the picture a couple of times just to squirt on it. Enya sang, Harry ran. Until he remained standing in the midst of his tidy flat, asking himself again and again why he had no fears about work and every fear in the world about meeting girls, a college teacher spending his life licking paper pussies.

Harry showered, making sure cock and balls and asshole were clean, sprayed some Cartier on his throat and brushed his teeth. He paced the hallway, shivered and mumbled silly nothings to himself. Maybe it was all a practical joke?

The doorbell gave him quite a start. It caused not only his heart to flutter, but also his cock to twitch. One look in the mirror later and Harry opened the door to reveal Lucy, sprayed with something smelling of magnolia and roses, Chopard or Christina Aguilera, wearing that T-shirt from the picture with “Malibu Beach” written on it. There was a beach on it that looked like a continent by the way the tits stretched it … and the nipples? Well, let’s say they stuck out like flagpoles in the wind.

“Thanks ever so much,” she repeated, stretching forth one bottle of red wine. “Rioja?”

Harry nodded. “Uhm-hmm. Co- … come in.”

She wandered in, rubbing her pink skirt, causing Harry’s tight trousers to seem even tighter. “You have a really nice flat, Mr. C.”

“Tha-… thanks.”

Harry took the bottle of wine, shaking his head.

“That wasn’t necessary.”

Lucy shrugged, her knockers shaking in the process, causing him to glance at them. She noticed he was gazing at her tits, but for now she only gave him a sly grin, looking down at his swelling crotch.

“Oh, yes, it was, you helping me with my article and all.”

“I’ll get two glasses.”

Harry thanked the Lord that the cork didn’t break and that he did not spill any of that wine. Lucy brought forth her USB-stick, forcing Harry to focus on his work. It was difficult to explain thoroughly how a Swedish farmer revolted against the royal regime of 1542 when a buxom brunette frequently spent her evening leaning toward the computer screen, shoving her milk-factories under his nose.

Three quarters of an hour later and Lucy had an impeccible written addition to her submission, not her own, but albeit a very adequate one that would make any Irish, English or Swedish historian proud. So much for not staying long. On the other hand, the longer Lucy stayed, the more did Harry actually want to fuck her, the more he actually felt he had the guts to make a move, the more he felt he could just grab her boobs and stick his dick between them. Shaky and quite red in the face, Harry strolled to the kitchen to get the chocolate chip cookies, hearing Lucy rave about his great work, when, suddenly, out of the blue, Lucy stopped talking. She had been chatting about a lecture of his when…

“Oh, my God.,” she exclaimed.

There was a very long pause, which caused Harry to think that Lucy had left.

When Harry returned with a crystal plate of cookies, Lucy stared at a bouncing screensaver. Harry took a few steps toward her, that fuckable woman with the monumental wankable whammers, her mouth open.

“That’s me, Mr. C.,” she said, giving Harry a sudden attack of the nervous fright. Pictures of unlawful sexual conduct came to mind, Lucy running out and screaming. She did nothing of the kind. Instead, she just smiled. “You made a special close-up of… my tits.”

She looked at Harry, more immobile than the Statue of Liberty, Lucy with a sexy and innocent kind of grin on her cocksucker lips.

“Lucy, I don’t know how to say this, but…”

“You like my tits, Mr. C?”she crooned.

No response. “Uhm, uhm…”

She looked up, licking her lips.

“You can say so, if it’s true, Mr. C.”

Harry nodded slowly, clutching the plate.

Lucy looked down below Harry’s plate toward the growing bulge in his trousers.

“Yes, I do like your tits,” Harry said. “Very much.”

And as Lucy stood up, catwalking toward him, the cookies on his plate rattling against the glass, she licked her lips.

“You wank to pictures of my tits, Harry,” she asked.

Harry nodded. “Yes, I do. Often.”

“You print out pictures of me and squirt on them?”

Harry nodded again.

“I like that,” she said.

Harry chuckled nervously.

“What’s that in your pants?”

She took the plate, put it on the coffee table by the couch and slowly rubbed the very prominent thing that now more resembled a long coke can than a small fish.

“Something for me?” she crooned, stroking the bulge slowly.

“It’s growing,” she chuckled, waving her eyebrows, giving him a kiss. “Can I ask you a question, Professor Carruthers?”

“Uh-huh,” he groaned.

“How long has it been since someone gave you a blowjob?”

“Gosh,” Harry croaked. “Dunno …”

“Uuuh-ooh,” Lucy whispered, taking off her Malibu T-shirt. “You probably wanked yourself silly over my titties, squirting on my printed picture. Well, Mr. C., you sexy wanker.”

Lucy went down on her knees, unbuckling his belt with the look of a kid who just discovered that Santa was real.

“I want to taste that big dick of yours, baby,” she mused.

The zipper went down, the pants went down, the underpants went to the floor and when she saw his monster cock, as big as a foot and as thick as a coke bottle, she opened her mouth, giggling. It was with a smoothe grin that she freed a penis that simply bounced out and smiled at her with its eight inches and one happy eye on a happy plum sized helmet.

“Mr. C.! Now I am about give you a private lesson.”

Lucy carefully opened her mouth and wrapped her elegant cocksucker lips around his shaft, making little squeaking noises and smacking her lips in the process. At the moment Lucy Holmes took his Long John in her mouth, Harry saw stars. The way she sucked his cock had to be felt to be described. She literally embraced his penis with her mouth, letting it touch the back of her throat, making little groaning and squeaking noises as she sucked, occasionally letting the cock plop out with an elegant little pop onto her chin for a fine little lick of the tongue. A quick kiss on the one-eyed helmet, a gentle suck on the tip, a long lick at the shaft, a tender long slobber at his balls, taking one testicle into her mouth, bouncing it up and down with her tongue, then the other, grabbing his buttocks as she sucked. Then, she was back to sucking, harder and harder. Harry was amazed that he had not squirted yet, but she sucked so fantastically it made sense to wait and enjoy. While she sucked it, she massaged his balls, managing to circle the shaft with her tongue during her expertise sucking work. In fact, he felt his dick grow in her mouth only because she managed to give him such good oral sex. Lucy half-smiled while sucking, nodding ever so sensitively, her cock-hungry eyes glittering in moonlight from the window.

“Do I suck you well, Mr. C.?” Lucy said, licking his balls again.

“Oh, yes,” Harry said, suddenly free of fear. “You are a great cocksucker.”

“I wanna please you, Mr. C,” she teased. “Do I please you?”

Harry moaned something unintelligible.

Lucy slowly worked herself down to his long schlong and devoured it deep throat, balls and helmet and pubic hair and all.

“You wanna see me ride you, Mr. C.? My tight little arse ride your long and hard dick? Or are you in the mood to lick this good little girl’s clit first?”

Freedom made Harry invincible. “I think I wanna drink your cunt first.”

Harry had never ever seen a woman run so fast to the bed and Harry was not slow in responding, stretching out his tongue for a taste of some Yorkshire pussy.

Harry’s head literally disappeared totally into that furburger. Between every pussy lick, Harry had to take breaks for air. He was soaking wet, but her clit tasted so damn good. It was like a juicy fish filet and he wasn’t gonna stop licking and pleasing that sexy woman, sticking his long tongue way into her cunny, fucking her with his mouth. She grabbed his hair, pushed his face violently into her snatch and then begged for him to fuck her.

And fuck her, he did.

Hard.

Harry did not recognize himself.

First, she rode him, just like those sluts on Facial Fest. After a Blowjob POV, now an arse ride. “Am I fucking you good, Mr. C.? Am I your submissive little sex object?”

“Yes, Lucy.”

“Will you give me a good grade on my thesis, Mr. C.?”

“Yes, Lucy,” he said, looking at those wobbling buttcheeks. “And you get high honours in fucking. Fucking good grades.”

A while later, Harry turned around his randy little cockteaser, man-frigging one-night-hooker-fuck and shoved his prick into her pussy from the front. Seeing those incredible boobs wobble in front of his eyes was like going to heaven. It was a sight for the Gods.

He made her cum. It was a sight to die for, Lucy closing her eyes, raising her eyebrows, yearning and burning. It made him want to squirt, too. So he straddled Lucy funbags, fucked them, felt that burning sensation in his cock, slid up to her mouth, opened it, causing her to stretch out her tongue, begging for his sperm.

“Yes, yes, yes,” Lucy begged. “Wank on my face, you maggot.”

Harry’s hand movements now accelerated, his face grimacing, his head bobbing, his dick even bigger and bluer than before. Finally, his cock erupted, a long string of cum skyrocketing into onto her tongue. The second portion shot onto her left cheek, the final dessert of this three course sperm-dinner landing on her nose. Every portion of her face was covered in cum. She licked it all off, swallowing every drop. A stunned silence now came over the room, their mutual copulation inspiring us. His apartment became a symbiosis, the restful oasis of a green acre that had appeared after the hot fire of lust of a burning desire.

The load that came shooting out of his shaft, landing inside her mouth and all over her face, had made them connect.

Suddenly, with all of his sperm covering Lucy’s face, Harry retracted. He saw his upbringing, his sterile parents who never ever seemed to touch each other, his mother calling every attempt to copulate “sick” … and Harry wondered.

Lucy lay there, licking off his sperm, tasting it, savouring it, it seemed, lost in a world of sperm and post-copulation.

“Yummy sperm,” she swooned­. “I love the salty taste of sex. A real cock-tail.”

Harry sat down on the edge of the bed, lost in his world of post-horniness, that feeling he got after sex. Before an orgasm on a tissue: “Wow! I wanna squirt!” After orgasm on a tissue: “I wish I hadn’t!”

Lucy whispered: “Your cum tastes marvellous, it reminds me of that tunafish steak I had in Crete. You have such a great cock, Mr. C.”

There was no response from Harry, so big boobed Lucy looked over while licking off bits of his cum and giggled: “You didn’t like the sex?”

Harry looked over at Lucy, laying there, spread-eagled, pussy-lips spread, covered, cum all over. “Oh, you are a fabulous fuck.”

“So, where’s the problem?” she said, now cleaning off entire strains of sperm with her hand and licking the strains off.

“It’s a sin,” he said.

Lucy laughed. “Who says?”

“Society,” Harry says.

Lucy sighed. “Who are we hurting?”

Harry looked over at Lucy, surprised.

“I beg your pardon?” he asked.

“Who are we hurting?” she repeated. “If it’s a sin, that is. I mean, that’s what I understand as a sin, something that hurts someone else. We are not hurting anyone, are we?”

Harry looked away, wondering silently to himself.

“I never thought of it that way,” he wondered. “No, we are not.”

“And we are just embracing each other, loving each other’s touch,” she continued. “With all the violence that occurs in the world, a little bit of nice and honest sex is not bad, is it? At least, I think it is pretty okay. You’re unattached. I am unattached. We’re just making love and that’s all there is to it.”

“My parents were very uptight,” Harry said after a moment’s pause. “I never even saw them embrace each other.”

“They were missing out on lots of great experiences. That’s probably why you are so shy of girls,” Lucy pointed out, sighing. “And be honest, Mr. C., without sex, we would have no humanity. Sex creates babies. Why do we love babies and think sex is a sin? That makes no sense. It’s like loving food and hating cooking. If we stopped having sex, humanity would disintegrate. We have to set our priorities straight. We call babies holy. Then we should call faithful sex holy, too. I believe in the eternal soul. I believe in reincarnation. I believe in heaven. I also believe in making love.”

Harry nodded, looking over at Lucy, suddenly brave, Lucy’s paradigm shift making him realize how strained he had been. “Damn it, you’re right. Sex is necessary.”

“And faith.”

“So we can have sex as long as we’re honest and faithful about it?” Harry mused.

“We have to,” Lucy shrugged. “Yeah. Violence is a sin. Sex is a necessity. Give me a kiss.”

Harry did.

“I came here to loosen you up,” Lucy winked.

“Here’s to Kama Sutra,” he giggled.

“And the eternal soul beyond sociological compartments,” she replied.

They fell asleep in each other’s arms, the touch of their bodies sending signals to their souls that they were alone no longer. They became a couple, created four lovely babies, one boy and three girls, with their sex, and wrote books about the joys of marital love, reproduction, procreation and even one book linking inspired artistic creativity to creating a baby. Harry was a changed man with the signals they sent each other and others.

He held lectures on a regular basis about love in sonnets, nudity in art and sex in music and claimed how universal love was and the necessity for human touch.

He claimed that a person who accepted and respected sex as a part of his eternal being never ever could commit a crime.

“We cannot avoid what is a part of us,” was one of his credos, “we can only begin to understand how we can use our parts to benefit all.”

Harry lived a good and very fulfilled life.